Todays Ending

Crazy, Incredible, Different, Random, Remorse, Regrets, Feelings.

Things that we think about constantly whats the point, we can not change what has happened and we can not know what is going to happen. Where's the fun in that? knowing whats going to happen.

H mm, Imagine for a second you could see into the future, that would not be legitimate only because you know? what you saw would have been for the life you were leading at the time you saw. Because you know whats going to happen you could do things differently. Or is it inevitable?

Someone once told me that there people who do things to people and there are people who have things done to them Which are you? Sometime i wonder why people could have to such a bad motive to do something harmful to someone else! I cant wrap my mind around it. Intentionally hurting someone. Do they realize that it's nothing to do with the person you are hurting that in actuality it's coming from within. Solving pain with pain just only makes the fire bigger.

huh.. i have no idea where I'm going with this. ha-ha

Yours-truly, Ella Mentry

Who am I?

I'm stuck in a place between walls and a window. No one's around. It's time that I face myself. To mutter the words who am I? well.. I'm alot of things but to define who i am.. is a hard one.

Where am I? I'm in a place to face my fears.To discover myself, To be who I am.To explore my being,My higher self. What am I doing.? Becoming and not molding into the worlds expectations,Because I have my own.

Who am I? I am my culture. I am a descendant of a medicine women.
Who am I? I am writer, Who acts in her own thoughts.
Who am I? I am a dancer, I dance to pray, I pray to heal, I heal to love, I love to dance.
Who am I? I am White thunder bird, My spirit has it's faults but I fly high and will rise above the rest.
Who am I? I am fatherless, But that hasn't dragged me down. I choose to recognize that, That this is what the Creator held out for me, But i don't dwell on it.
Who am I? I am a new soul, Living and making mistakes on my path of life.Learning and teaching on my walk through.
Who am I? I am a believer in the law of attraction.It is in the power of the positive mind.

Facing yourself doesn't have to be a scary experience. it's a place where you don't have lie or change who you are , hide yourself, Keep things away, Because you know everything, & you'd only be lieing to yourself.

MissMeeka

Once In A BLue Moon

Once in a blue moon, I'll just sit back and think what the heck, I don't need a motive to write I can just write about whatever I want. It's my blog ain't it?

You know when you think of something over and over and over then, All over again. Well i haven't been doing that but i just wanted to see if you know what i mean.

I Notice something to, Lately I've been taking these simple concepts and blowing them way out of proportion. Or Expanding on ideas incredible. I've been getting flashes about what i want to write about i have it in my brain. But I'm just to damn lazy to sit and write it... Does that any sense?

So once in a blue moon, I'll sit at my desk or where ever I am and say. Well I'm sitting at my white desk with my two new library books piled over one another my Cinnamon apple tea is so hot the steam is still hovering above the top of the cup. I bet your wondering which books I'm reading well here they are my newest additions - Once in a blue moon - by Eileen goudge and across the nightingale floor by Lian herarn.

My room is slowly beginning to look like a room, How i wouldn't mind have my things right now. So i can sleep happily under the moonlit and starry filled sky.

Signed, MissMeeka

I'm on the pursuit to happiness

this stopped blocked Cant buisness is what's really putting you aside

your to fustrated about being blocked

your thinking about how you cant write

You. Are finding excuses to be blocked

But if you can just lift those words out

And look around

your brain

and hear what your saying

Ideas well jsut come naturally

When i write i dont think i cant

i dont feel blocked

If i'm not feeling inspired about anything

if nothing inspires me

I look aroound and it may not inspire me right now

but once i get going it's spadah i cant stop.

Alhoa!

Take a few moments out of your day then take a step back and look at your master piece. close yours eyes and take a deep breath, sucks for me i can't breathe hard lol? Life is so unexplainable, So out there and unpredictable! I would have never have guessed that I would be where I am today 3 years ago, Everything just always happens for a reason you know it always works out.

Well, it has for me sometimes you know you can't always have your way, although I/We would GREATLY love that.

I've been thinking about the people i've met, the things i've said. Things people have said, what i've done what've you done.Everything has a purpose,.

It's crazy to see how far a smile can go. Just even if your spirit isnt so high, the smile you give lifts another person and that could save a life. Imagine being on this earth for one purpose, and that purpose was to smile at that individual at that excat timing while walking by.

Maybe that person was feeling unnoticed or like a ghost and here you come prancing looking full of life, love, happiness and you give the most amazing smile to this stranger that says " hey! your alive i'm alive everythings going to be okay." and that's just what that person needed, to give them that little bit of motivation. That if this person see me, then others must to.

You never really know what people are thinking ever. even if i had the chance to hear someone's thoughts for a day I wouldn't take it. Probably be the most invasive thing to do if it were possible. It's crazy some one can smile and say hello and turn around say I hate that girl! But why, To be civil.

Why force your self to be nice someone for whatever reason, why not just not converse with them. I do that, If i dont like the people who surround me. i change the surrounding. I try to keep positive people around me cause then i can be comfortable and happy.

I don't believe i'm gifted or anything of that sort but, Sometimes i can feel feelings of other people like whens someone is mad at you. You can tell with there body language, their tone, the way they saying things, I find it easy for me to read peoples emotions. I wouldn't go out and say hey! you seem Sad even though there acting happy. But, i would ask if anythings wrong? what if that person was screaming inside for someone to ask and you felt and you didn't ask. It's intuitive feeling i suppose, maybe everyone has it and some people are more in tune then others.

"We are inevitably our brother's keeper because we are our brother's brother. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yours truly, MissMeeka

AForcedBlurp.

I Love you she said with a smile. flicking off the light, grabbing her sandwich and cup of lemonade while wondering off into the darkness up the stairs.

I sit in my new room well old room, old new room. ha-ha. Remembering old times, missing the past. What if you could change things by just thinking about it and instantly happen'd. Imagine how many people would be dead! you'd really have to monitor your thoughts and you know that would be incredibly difficult for me.

I'm in a new time in my life, exciting you would say. But I still feel the same, here I am again spending long hours in front of a computer but this time a faster comp. I have several books on the go - "The artist's way" ( which was recommended by a friend and it's not that bad at all actually) "The monk who sold his Ferrari"( It's about a man who got tired of his mainstream life and found his path of enlightenment by becoming a monk, basically go through his journy with him) Eclipse-(twilight saga enough said) "The celestine prophecy" and " Law of attraction, plain and simple".

Right now, i feel this infinite pressure to write something spectacular.But, I know and you know that it quite difficult to write when you force it, am i forcing it? I think I am.

Today, i was thinking about how when you flaunt or "brag" about an un-achieved goal or rather goal you have, it give's you a fake sense of accomplishment, i did that today. it only last awhile so remember to always keep going! and never give up on what you want don't take your eyes off the gold!

Even though i'm back home, i feel happy but at the same i feel i gave up. But, what's worse? Being miserable and not doing anything or feeing disappointed but happy and being productive?

WE WELL PREVAIL!

Yours truly, Miss meeka

I Remember

I remember Easter the most, I don't know why this memory was engraved in me. Or what it's significance's for that matter.

It's about 3 or maybe even 4 in the morning, i was sound asleep. I heard

ruckus down-stair where my mother and adopted father are. I hear my mom saying "No, just leave them be" " Let them sleep, We'll watch them in the morning."

I never heard what my father said, but he must have insisted and won the battle between him and my mother. I see my door open and a body walk in, i don't know whats going to happen and then i hear " baby wake up" -it's my daddy. The smell of alcohol is a strong aroma of his that and old spice. But it was defiantly alcohol.

I'm up and happy to see him he grabs me and tells me to go downstairs "The Easter bunny has come he says as he wonders up the stairs to get my brother Andrew.

As i come down the stairs I see my mother her cheeks are rosy,eyes glossy. She greets me with a smile, I notice the beers on the table but ignore them. As come to her to give her a hug she hands me a basket and by now my father and brother have come down.

Andrew and I scramble around the house finding Easter eggs and finally i sit and begin to colour with my new things I've gotten from the Easter bunny. The look on my fathers face is one I'll never forget, it was the most purest type of happiness or was it just the alcohol?

- MissMeeka