Todays Ending

Crazy, Incredible, Different, Random, Remorse, Regrets, Feelings.

Things that we think about constantly whats the point, we can not change what has happened and we can not know what is going to happen. Where's the fun in that? knowing whats going to happen.

H mm, Imagine for a second you could see into the future, that would not be legitimate only because you know? what you saw would have been for the life you were leading at the time you saw. Because you know whats going to happen you could do things differently. Or is it inevitable?

Someone once told me that there people who do things to people and there are people who have things done to them Which are you? Sometime i wonder why people could have to such a bad motive to do something harmful to someone else! I cant wrap my mind around it. Intentionally hurting someone. Do they realize that it's nothing to do with the person you are hurting that in actuality it's coming from within. Solving pain with pain just only makes the fire bigger.

huh.. i have no idea where I'm going with this. ha-ha

Yours-truly, Ella Mentry

Who am I?

I'm stuck in a place between walls and a window. No one's around. It's time that I face myself. To mutter the words who am I? well.. I'm alot of things but to define who i am.. is a hard one.

Where am I? I'm in a place to face my fears.To discover myself, To be who I am.To explore my being,My higher self. What am I doing.? Becoming and not molding into the worlds expectations,Because I have my own.

Who am I? I am my culture. I am a descendant of a medicine women.
Who am I? I am writer, Who acts in her own thoughts.
Who am I? I am a dancer, I dance to pray, I pray to heal, I heal to love, I love to dance.
Who am I? I am White thunder bird, My spirit has it's faults but I fly high and will rise above the rest.
Who am I? I am fatherless, But that hasn't dragged me down. I choose to recognize that, That this is what the Creator held out for me, But i don't dwell on it.
Who am I? I am a new soul, Living and making mistakes on my path of life.Learning and teaching on my walk through.
Who am I? I am a believer in the law of attraction.It is in the power of the positive mind.

Facing yourself doesn't have to be a scary experience. it's a place where you don't have lie or change who you are , hide yourself, Keep things away, Because you know everything, & you'd only be lieing to yourself.

MissMeeka

Once In A BLue Moon

Once in a blue moon, I'll just sit back and think what the heck, I don't need a motive to write I can just write about whatever I want. It's my blog ain't it?

You know when you think of something over and over and over then, All over again. Well i haven't been doing that but i just wanted to see if you know what i mean.

I Notice something to, Lately I've been taking these simple concepts and blowing them way out of proportion. Or Expanding on ideas incredible. I've been getting flashes about what i want to write about i have it in my brain. But I'm just to damn lazy to sit and write it... Does that any sense?

So once in a blue moon, I'll sit at my desk or where ever I am and say. Well I'm sitting at my white desk with my two new library books piled over one another my Cinnamon apple tea is so hot the steam is still hovering above the top of the cup. I bet your wondering which books I'm reading well here they are my newest additions - Once in a blue moon - by Eileen goudge and across the nightingale floor by Lian herarn.

My room is slowly beginning to look like a room, How i wouldn't mind have my things right now. So i can sleep happily under the moonlit and starry filled sky.

Signed, MissMeeka

I'm on the pursuit to happiness

this stopped blocked Cant buisness is what's really putting you aside

your to fustrated about being blocked

your thinking about how you cant write

You. Are finding excuses to be blocked

But if you can just lift those words out

And look around

your brain

and hear what your saying

Ideas well jsut come naturally

When i write i dont think i cant

i dont feel blocked

If i'm not feeling inspired about anything

if nothing inspires me

I look aroound and it may not inspire me right now

but once i get going it's spadah i cant stop.

Alhoa!

Take a few moments out of your day then take a step back and look at your master piece. close yours eyes and take a deep breath, sucks for me i can't breathe hard lol? Life is so unexplainable, So out there and unpredictable! I would have never have guessed that I would be where I am today 3 years ago, Everything just always happens for a reason you know it always works out.

Well, it has for me sometimes you know you can't always have your way, although I/We would GREATLY love that.

I've been thinking about the people i've met, the things i've said. Things people have said, what i've done what've you done.Everything has a purpose,.

It's crazy to see how far a smile can go. Just even if your spirit isnt so high, the smile you give lifts another person and that could save a life. Imagine being on this earth for one purpose, and that purpose was to smile at that individual at that excat timing while walking by.

Maybe that person was feeling unnoticed or like a ghost and here you come prancing looking full of life, love, happiness and you give the most amazing smile to this stranger that says " hey! your alive i'm alive everythings going to be okay." and that's just what that person needed, to give them that little bit of motivation. That if this person see me, then others must to.

You never really know what people are thinking ever. even if i had the chance to hear someone's thoughts for a day I wouldn't take it. Probably be the most invasive thing to do if it were possible. It's crazy some one can smile and say hello and turn around say I hate that girl! But why, To be civil.

Why force your self to be nice someone for whatever reason, why not just not converse with them. I do that, If i dont like the people who surround me. i change the surrounding. I try to keep positive people around me cause then i can be comfortable and happy.

I don't believe i'm gifted or anything of that sort but, Sometimes i can feel feelings of other people like whens someone is mad at you. You can tell with there body language, their tone, the way they saying things, I find it easy for me to read peoples emotions. I wouldn't go out and say hey! you seem Sad even though there acting happy. But, i would ask if anythings wrong? what if that person was screaming inside for someone to ask and you felt and you didn't ask. It's intuitive feeling i suppose, maybe everyone has it and some people are more in tune then others.

"We are inevitably our brother's keeper because we are our brother's brother. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yours truly, MissMeeka

AForcedBlurp.

I Love you she said with a smile. flicking off the light, grabbing her sandwich and cup of lemonade while wondering off into the darkness up the stairs.

I sit in my new room well old room, old new room. ha-ha. Remembering old times, missing the past. What if you could change things by just thinking about it and instantly happen'd. Imagine how many people would be dead! you'd really have to monitor your thoughts and you know that would be incredibly difficult for me.

I'm in a new time in my life, exciting you would say. But I still feel the same, here I am again spending long hours in front of a computer but this time a faster comp. I have several books on the go - "The artist's way" ( which was recommended by a friend and it's not that bad at all actually) "The monk who sold his Ferrari"( It's about a man who got tired of his mainstream life and found his path of enlightenment by becoming a monk, basically go through his journy with him) Eclipse-(twilight saga enough said) "The celestine prophecy" and " Law of attraction, plain and simple".

Right now, i feel this infinite pressure to write something spectacular.But, I know and you know that it quite difficult to write when you force it, am i forcing it? I think I am.

Today, i was thinking about how when you flaunt or "brag" about an un-achieved goal or rather goal you have, it give's you a fake sense of accomplishment, i did that today. it only last awhile so remember to always keep going! and never give up on what you want don't take your eyes off the gold!

Even though i'm back home, i feel happy but at the same i feel i gave up. But, what's worse? Being miserable and not doing anything or feeing disappointed but happy and being productive?

WE WELL PREVAIL!

Yours truly, Miss meeka

I Remember

I remember Easter the most, I don't know why this memory was engraved in me. Or what it's significance's for that matter.

It's about 3 or maybe even 4 in the morning, i was sound asleep. I heard

ruckus down-stair where my mother and adopted father are. I hear my mom saying "No, just leave them be" " Let them sleep, We'll watch them in the morning."

I never heard what my father said, but he must have insisted and won the battle between him and my mother. I see my door open and a body walk in, i don't know whats going to happen and then i hear " baby wake up" -it's my daddy. The smell of alcohol is a strong aroma of his that and old spice. But it was defiantly alcohol.

I'm up and happy to see him he grabs me and tells me to go downstairs "The Easter bunny has come he says as he wonders up the stairs to get my brother Andrew.

As i come down the stairs I see my mother her cheeks are rosy,eyes glossy. She greets me with a smile, I notice the beers on the table but ignore them. As come to her to give her a hug she hands me a basket and by now my father and brother have come down.

Andrew and I scramble around the house finding Easter eggs and finally i sit and begin to colour with my new things I've gotten from the Easter bunny. The look on my fathers face is one I'll never forget, it was the most purest type of happiness or was it just the alcohol?

- MissMeeka

Allision is not dead

Hello, It's Allison here.

Here i am sitting on this red couch.. who has red couches? apparently me.

My tea cup and papers scattered across the coffee table.Staring at the

screen of a laptop thats letter o key cover is missing, what a ghetto looking

Laptop. So i've been doing nothing actually just sitting around in the back of

some chicks head, kinda a boring life i must say being a character or rather an

alter ego of someone.. especially if they forget about you.

Well, i'm alive. I will not let her forget about me. I make her alive in her world.

- miss meeks

TodaysEnding

Hey, Hi, How are ya? Okay well first things first,

I have run out of things to write about other than Allison (whom is my fictional character) I'd like to write about more diverse topics which, I assume is not a supprise to you. I'm tired of the same ole picture adding, Lyric giving, ranting raving, random blogging. I need to find my purpose as a writer other than this lame love triangle that I assume Zip are interested in. I've been reading Lot's and plan on starting back up on novel for I have abandon it,That happens to be a grief of mine because I feel it has so much potential and for those who have read my first couple of pages agreed. I do have my fair share of faithful readers whom have and are very supportive of my writing. So thank you to them!

The Model Behind The words<3

Photos Done by - AlienCraft & kaprix

http://kaprix.deviantart.com/

http://aliencraft.deviantart.com/

Some of the things that make me happy.

Sleeping Babies

Shopping

Close Hugs

Chocolate

Chillin by the lake

Signed, MissMeeka

A relationship

I'm not quiet sure what you do.
But somehow when i walk away from you
i feel like i have nothing to look forward to
You care for other people you sympathize them
But with me you are so hard and cold
like what I feel is not really there at all..
You wonder why i tell you i'm leaving
You obviously dont believe me
To you whatever i do isnt right
Even though i try so hard to prove you wrong
I always want to break down and be like the rest
but then that would be proving you right
My heart aches from the verbal abuse
My soul crys for days
Though you think you've been forgiven
When I'm happy and enjoy myself
You tell me i'm concieted and witchlike
I tell you things like i dont cry for you
because really i'm crying because of you
I'm selfish, mean,homely,careless and rude
You tell me my actions are reflection of myself
you tell me i have no reason to be unhappy
with all this you still say I love you too.

Somethings Can be overlooked

There they were sitting under tree. The moon light shining on the lake the stars high above them. Talking and laughing with the voices of their ancestors the foot steps of there brothers and sisters behind them. She thought What can be more perfect The first time they actually had a conversation. They sat together worried if anyone would come up to them and ruin what was going. Without realizing they really had nothing to talk about yes there was the attraction yes there was the longing that haven't been fulfilled.

They had that not knowing what the two would ever be together. she thought and thought of days like this here it was what she wanted and it was passing her by not paying attention to his handsome looks and he's speech.

Removing her natural way of thinking she was stunned star struck for he was a star to her unknowing of what he was really like what he really had in store for her. The two never really had perfect timing you think this would be a perfecting ending story for she had wrote so many endings to the romance. Had she blinded herself? Forgetting her standards but for what standard had she had? Her last relationship was with a boy who she had not really liked but only for the fact she didn't want to hurt him.

This ex of hers Took many things from her that she hadn't wanted lost. Had she been called down so many times to have not seen what true beauty she really had? She was not perfectly set for what this perfect moment could have been.This girl was never told how beautiful and nice and giving she was. She had not known anything? How could she for god sakes she was raised by slobs.This girl spends her days in her mind thinking and wishing and wondering about how things Could be. What could be is what keeps her alive. This man that she had so sweetly fallen for hadn't the heart that she needed.

He did not wont her and for why? Because he only wanted something that she could keep that she kept That separates her from the others which makes this girl "pure" He can not have this girl. She is too good for him. This girl is considered pure untouched by man. But yet she feels she has nothing. She longs to be in love she longs for these moments to last for they don't happen often. What could be of this girl? What fortune can she have? Is she worth your time. IS she worth your tears? A girl who would treat you the way you should be how every man should be treated instead of these wenches. why hasn't anyone fallen for her? She is not rude she isn't ugly she is not spoiled? What is wrong with this girl..

Why hadn't this boy taken her love. This man left her for what? For why? What have she done to deserve to be treated like nothing. He spends his days on his pass. She baffled at the fact that now she's being told shes good and wonders why doesn't he want her? Why does he tell her longs for others? This girl is everything you need. Why hadn't he given her the time to show herself to him? Why didn't he fight for her? Why hadn't he try..

SometimesThisWorldDoesntMakeSense

But that's something that we all new? correct?

Poems from My Past-

So the title basically explains it here's some of my poems from the past :)


-Without beholding.

Lately I've Spent Too much time thinking about what could beOnly wishing you would seeDressing for you, knowing that you'll never care..It kills me and it's hard to bareCould you take the moment to look in my eyesAnd tell me what I feel is all lies

-The Unspoken Words

Here's for the words said unspoken. So i write this letter backwards to say I love you first.
I'm so sorry your close to broken. Cause my life is about to burst.
Your my light that's there to give me hope. Please understand because this is no joke.
I'm stuck and I need you to help me cope. I barely know you but. I've knowen you my whole life. And maybe one day my spouse. But that might be going to far. With out you I feel like heading to the bar. Life with you is just so much better. But Now I feel it's time to end this Letter.

-I love that.

You know when your walking... and you get that light smelll of flowers but dont see them..You know when you check your mail .. and find an unexpected checkYou know when your sad.. and your driving your favourite song comes on..You know when you want to do something fun... and someone calls and asks you out!!You know that secrect.. feeling of accomplishment when you clean your room..or when you turn your head and relize that mother earth is sooo beatifulyou know how somedays you feel great and you pick up a piece of garbage when some one you know can finsh your sentences and is rightwhen your hair is doing what you want it too..when that guy you secretly crush on says something nice to you..when your with a friend and you guys laugh so hard at nothing..well... I love that..

- Recent actually right now

A broken heart has been healed
The deal between me and you is perfectly sealed
I walk my paths with a smile
Because i know that I have walked the mile
I past those stepping stones
This Gives me a joy further beyond my bones
Yes I remember and always will
My life is still so young
Have yet to feel the true meaning of life
I will not turn my head to my past
Because The pain has no reason to last

Thoughts of my Mind?

I Sit here in this room full of nothing. Pondering and smiling about the past.I miss my past. If I could go back to one day it'd be september 29, 2007.Sometimes I wish I could go back and Start all over.But then I think I would have just repeated everything that's already happen. I couldnt go through all that again.My past is my past. I should be worried and Planning and changing my future. I Feel as if at my age I am love driven? But tell me what teenage girl isnt? at least I have head on my shoulders unlike half the teenage girl population.I'm a hopeless romantic. And really all i want is someone there.Just to be there.... just for me. Someone to care.. and want to know

about me? that's all I want. Seems impossible to find here. where i live. I mean i dont have very many friends and well i'm not the greatest looking haha but i mean i think i have a good personility? maybe not great but good? haha oh it doesnt matter.

P.s sorry i havent written in awhile and the unexplainable last post was to be a hint that i have lost my internet! booo :( oh well i'm very resourceful i can always getter done!

Signed, MissMeeka

*goodGrief*

Forever welll my life be on hold tell the moment; That the 5 lights of the blue tower glow once more.

*rolls eyes* In other words,

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
Leo Buscaglia

May i just point out that today happen to be one of two things

Anti Valentines Day - i know i was like tear tear nobody loves me haha but i got a lovely flower from a loving friend(L).Props to him for being a nervous reck in the flower shop haha god that made my day :)

OR - Drum roll please..


Tell someone there're beautiful day aka random acts of kindness day - Try and flip there day by flashing your pearly whites :D


Signed, MissMeeka

My fair Lady

Miss Audrey Hepburn - Is my idol. :)

Why Are You In My Head

I was thinking does life have to be what it is? Should we sit here and except what happens to us? what is said to us? we have the power to change all of it in matter of minutes just by changing our state of mind - Am I positive? Or Am I negative? - I'm probably the queen of negativity but I am not alone. I mean well, I wasn't always this way. In the past year or so I lost love for the things I loved - I lack my motivation and confidence I once had - I lost my life and now drown myself with my thoughts, Life- you only live once. Why are there those people who always make it 10 times more difficult for you to do or say anything? To kick you when your down-

A word of advice for them: Go fuck your self.

Signed,MissMeeka